Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Letter Nineteen

February 19, 2008

Dear Editor:
I followed your suggestion and took a look at the New York Times Bestseller list to see what books are popular right now. I spent my Sunday holed up in my office, reading How Not To Look Old, Tom Cruise, and Skinny Bitch. What a transformation. Now I understand what the American public wants.

With my few remaining daylight hours, I lightened my hair, fired my therapist, bought chemical free chocolate, and threw out my Uggs. Although the injections hurt, I have a hardy scruff of facial hair coming in that even Tom would be proud of.

Then, using my new knowledge of markets, I scrapped my work in progress about famine in Darfur and wrote through the night. Please consider my novel, HAIR CLUB FOR WOMEN: fatty vegan cult or pickup joint for alcoholic blondes?


U.S. Writer


Anonymous said...

These books should only be read by alcoholics!

Avid Fan

U.S. Writer said...

Avid Fan,
These books burn well. Although I cannot recommend book burning per se, if you need to light your grill they will do a fine job. Invite alcoholic friends; you can't eat a dozen cheeseburgers yourself.

U.S. Writer