Letter Nineteen

February 19, 2008

Dear Editor:
I followed your suggestion and took a look at the New York Times Bestseller list to see what books are popular right now. I spent my Sunday holed up in my office, reading How Not To Look Old, Tom Cruise, and Skinny Bitch. What a transformation. Now I understand what the American public wants.

With my few remaining daylight hours, I lightened my hair, fired my therapist, bought chemical free chocolate, and threw out my Uggs. Although the injections hurt, I have a hardy scruff of facial hair coming in that even Tom would be proud of.

Then, using my new knowledge of markets, I scrapped my work in progress about famine in Darfur and wrote through the night. Please consider my novel, HAIR CLUB FOR WOMEN: fatty vegan cult or pickup joint for alcoholic blondes?

Sincerely,

U.S. Writer