Letter Six

February 6, 2008

Dear Editor,
I’m convinced. You’ve lost your mind.

Why do you think the world wants another barely plotted ‘zippy’ John Grisham novel cluttering the front racks at Barnes and Noble? In my opinion, American Publishing could consider the words of another writer on occasion and not drop any dollars off the old balance sheet. If you’d read any part of my recent submission, Bertie Haversham; James Bond’s Secret Sidekick, you might have noticed I created a “chilling and timeless” story, too.

It obviously is the opinion of American Publishing that there is no difference between great writing and average writing if a book sells well, since Playing for Pizza opens with four passive sentences. I’m sure my balls would be on the chopping block should I dare to recreate such a lifeless environment. I’d rather work at Fashion Hut than jump like a flea onto a mangy dog’s back.

PS: Thank you for considering my novel. I hope your scapula is feeling better.

Sincerely,

U.S. Writer