Letter Fifteen

February 15, 2008

Dear Editor:
Your charitable rejection made me feel like Thor. Green dot matrix printer paper. Text bleeding sideways off the page. No signature. You guys are awesome.

One would think a billion dollar conglomeration of publishing houses and factories making infant formula, spray cleaners, foot powder, and potted meat product could set aside enough dinero to fund some decent slurry. While you're fattening babies, shining windows, stamping out athlete's foot, and poisoning senior citizens, couldn't you deforest a little more of Oregon to prevent future writer emasculation?

My turncoat spouse insisted we try the homemade Goat Cheese Brulee with Fennel recipe on your blog; while St. Joe's emergency room replenishes the fluids we lost from projectile diarrhea, you might consider publishing a little cookbook. As an editor, I'm sure you have lots of winning ideas that would be peachy perfect for the 'house.'

Sincerely,

U.S. Writer